Dr. Jan Hoistad has created a wonderful 16 week couples’ development program that embodies critical therapeutic models within the context of language that is not only reader-friendly but is also indicative of her warm and embracing style.  As indicated by her book’s title, each chapter is written for the respective week in her overall program. The chapters focus on creating greater self-awareness about partnering styles, developing a proactive commitment to self and other, assessing and adjusting communication styles, increasing awareness of problem solving and conflict resolution styles, ongoing evaluation of individual and couple strengths/limitations and embracing creative change together.  Throughout her text, she also provides charts that clearly illustrate her concepts in ways that clients and interested others would be encouraged to use in their daily lives.

Hoistad’s text is of particular interest to the Family Therapist because of its specific emphasis upon the systemic dynamics that occur within the individual, the couple relationship and the family. She deftly creates an easily understood emphasis upon self-differentiation within the context of couple and family relationships. With aplomb, she describes the ongoing process and development of self and couple differentiation with her ‘mine-your-our’ charts that she develops with greater complexity as the couple progresses through her program.  In addition, she has numerous ‘helpful hints’ lists that the clients can photocopy and place almost anywhere for visual reminders of individual and couples goals. Finally, she reinforces the importance of sustained change via built-in communication activities, as demonstrated by her increasing emphasis upon the consistency of shared time in which the couple proactively engages in problem solving current and potential issues while embracing creative and co-created change in the couple’s life. Thus, Hoistad’s text and related program is a very useful clinical resource that is highly adaptable to the therapeutic process and the changing needs of clients.
                                       Doug Greenlee, MN/MS, LMFT, LADC, CGC,
                                       Book and Media Reviews Editor,
                                       MAMFT Newsletter
 

"Psychologist Hoistad lays out a road map for both new and established couples to achieve a secure, satisfying and invigorating relationship over the course of 16 weeks. The exercises in this workbook-style guide aim to help partners pinpoint and then transcend their current relational style: traditional (one dominant personality); merged (two interdependent people); roommate (equal yet disconnected). The goal is the titular Big Picture Partnering: strong individuals who create together the nurturing space Hoistad terms "our world." Once couples classify their mode of relating, Hoistad directs them to exercises that investigate the strengths and problems of each type, and gently advises them to break from destructive patterns by implementing new modes of thought, feeling and action. One guiding principle that Hoistad has gleaned from studying healthy relationships is the 5-to-1 ratio, in which couples aim for five positive interactions for every negative one. This investment, writes Hoistad, is an insurance policy every couple can count on during times of stress. Couples both married and unmarried will find valuable techniques for enhanced communication and commitment-though some, like time outs and weekly partnering meetings, may seem a bit artificial. The author's warm, supportive tone encourages readers to stick with her program, which is intensive and requires two fully engaged participants. Like every worthwhile endeavor, Hoistad's path will take couples down roads they may not like to tread, but, as she insists, bumpy paths are part of "the trip of a lifetime.""
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                                     Publishers Weekly

"Chock-full of anecdotes, advice, and tips that will encourage couples toward fully considering each other in everything they do. Mates are encouraged to strengthen the relationship by seeing the good in each other, exploring and experimenting, breaking out of rigid roles, and deepening themselves individually. Hoistad smoothly alternates between an authoritative and a conversational tone."

                                      Library Journal

"It's difficult to find a simple, readable book that presents such a magnificent job of untangling the complexities of relationships--but
Big Picture Partnering does it!  A fantastic book to guide you to the relationship you long for."

                                     Pat Love, Ed.D. author, The Truth About Love

“This book can help couples have a great marriage.”

                                     Howard J. Markman, Ph.D., author of 12 Hours to a
                                     Great Marriage

“In Big Picture Partnering: 16 Weeks to a Rock-Solid Relationship, Dr. Hoistad shows couples how to move from a relationship that works to a relationship that rocks! Her guidance is practical and easy to follow; her exercises are fun and rewarding. Along the way, she delivers pragmatic assists to tackling the real life problems that can  trouble even the most loving of couples.”

                                      Pamela Hill Nettleton, author of Getting Married
                                      When It's Not Your First Time and How to Live
                                      with a Middle-Aged Man

“Dr. Jan generously distills her considerable expertise into a 16-week pathway to relationship success, empowering couples with valuable tools that will save them hundreds in therapy bills and years of frustration."

                                      Patty Howell & Ralph Jones, authors of World Class
                                      Marriage

"This is an awesome book for couples who not only want to create an innovative partnership that works, but also want a relationship that uniquely represents the individuals in that partnership. The philosophies and tools outlined by Jan are simple yet have a profound and lasting impact.”

                                       Jenni Lilledahl, owner of Brave New Workshop
                                       Comedy Theatre

"Jan's insight and method regarding partnering clearly has a place in the corporate environment. As I work with clients to help them increase their company's ability to innovate and increase team productivity, I am consistently reminded of how helpful Jan's work could be to help both the individuals and teams that I am interacting with. Better partnering equals thrilled customers and bigger profits."

                                      John Sweeney, owner of Brave new Workshop
                                      Comedy Theater and nationally recognized
                                      corporate creativity and innovation speaker,
                                      trainer, and author.

To learn more about what the book has to offer, click here.