|
Email this newsletter to friends using the
Forward Email link below. Encourage them
to sign-up! |
|
Dear Jan,
By now you've digested your holiday
fare, retired the decorations, and
settled well into 2008. I thoroughly
enjoyed the mix of work and play
from Thanksgiving through the first
weeks of January and I hope you did
too.
As we approached the New Year you
probably read and heard much
advice about setting New Year's
resolutions - the pros and cons and
how we are all ultimately doomed to
failure by mid-month! At the same
time we went deep in the longest
days of darkness, and like many
other mammals, under such conditions
our bodies and souls naturally long
for the yummyness of hibernation,
deep rest, quiet and contemplation
(with a little holiday partying on
the side!) Thus, the New Year is a
time when your intentions and goals
are naturally "simmering on the back
burner" with no need to watch the
pot or declare what's cookin' just
yet!
Now it's mid-month. We've moved
beyond the shortest day of the year.
The tiny yet progressive expansion
of light is insisting itself onto
our existence. So when they say to
make your New Year's resolutions,
January 1st is too soon to emerge.
It's too soon to serve up what's
cooking for 2008. But
right now is the perfect time
to get in touch with what you
want and what makes you happy. Even
if subliminal or subconscious, your
desires and dreams, intentions and
goals, have been taking shape or
reasserting themselves. Now is the
time to reflect, to contemplate, to
put pen to paper and let your
2008 aspirations reveal themselves
to you.
And let it be said: It's okay to
desire. Imagine that your life is a
gift - better than any holiday
present. You can turn it into
something that is fulfilling and
satisfying, individually and
together. Try some of this month's
tips to uncover and reveal your
urges. Desire motivates. It empowers
you to step into your own deep
contentment and delicious happiness.
2008 promises to be a good year!
I wish you blessings and delicious
happiness!
|
|
|
Tips to Know
What You Want for 2008
1. Begin with a quiet space
Tuning into our self -
our dreams, desires, even small urges -
requires self-reflection. It takes a bit
of quiet or solitude. A small amount of
time, consistently given to yourself on
a regular basis. Some people make quiet
time every morning for 15 minutes over
coffee or tea before turning on the
radio or reading the news. Others do
their best thinking or contemplating
while running or walking the dog around
the lake.
I've encouraged quite a number of male
clients to practice taking 5-10 minutes
of time during their day to
self-reflect. Some are choosing to do
this on a break or at lunchtime -
closing the office door and just sitting
quietly thinking about how their day has
gone so far, how they've been
interacting with others, what they feel
good about or what they'd like to
change. It gives them a time to regroup
before moving back into the workday
hubbub.
Another man uses 10-15 minutes
before leaving the office to sit
quietly and jot notes about his day
and notes about how he'd like to
re-enter family life. This helps him
reflect on what he's done well or
feels proud of that day, and it also
allows him to leave work at work and
transition to home life more
smoothly.
2. Have paper and pen handy
Journal writing is a way
to "see" what you are thinking. In her
book The Artist's Way,
Julia Cameron recommends starting each
day with three "morning pages." No more;
no less. These are just 3
pages to write whatever comes to mind.
No editing. No particular goal. No
outcome. No expectations. No one is
going to read them. She even recommends
that you don't reread them. Instead,
stick them in an envelope or folder and
tuck them in a drawer not to be opened
for at least 6 months.
Morning pages, with a hot cup or coffee
or tea, and a few minutes of silence are
a place to unload - to dump your first
thoughts, feelings, and impressions -
before the day's demands have
called. Morning pages are a place to
clear the slate and then capture your
dreams - dreams from which you have
literally emerged and dreams that can
turn into this year's goals.
As you write over the course of days,
you may be surprised how the 3 morning
pages turn into a pleasure - touching
base with your soul as a way to start
your day; dumping what's in your way and
making space for what you truly
desire.
3. Ask a simple question
Here's another suggestion
for your journal or notebook. Ask
yourself each day "What makes me happy?
What do I truly love? What are the
moments in this day that have felt
satisfying, fulfilling, or joyful?"
Then, be curious to note what
really feels good.
Write your response every day and see
how it evolves. See what sticks and go
for it.
Elizabeth Gilbert
author of Eat, Pray,
Love, also says to ask
yourself every morning: "What do I
really, really, really
want?" "Really" must be
said three times! Then write in your
journal and be sure to answer
honestly. In addition she also
recommends keeping a "happiness
journal" in which you jot down
exactly what actually made you happy
that day. What you notice will
inform your choices.
4. Let a
beacon to guide you
You've heard
the word "Intention." An
intention is like
a navigation system for all
your actions, interactions,
choices. An intention serves
two purposes: First, it is
like a lighthouse, a
guidepost, a watch tower - a
beacon. It shines light on
your life's path - marking
your direction, aligning
your values, hghlighting
skillful choices, as well as
potential danger
signals. Second, it serves
to beckon, entice, and coax
you toward the things you
most desire when the going
gets tough or you falter.
That said, how do you
reveal your beacon or
create your intention
for 2008?
It should be simple and
something you want to
guide all your
interactions. For
example, maybe you
- Are working on
moving more gently
through your days -
going more slowly,
stopping to smell the
roses, being sweeter to
yourself and others.
- Want to be more kind
or attentive. I know
people in physical pain
who are practicing such
kindness. Their
intention is to learn
to to listen to their
body signals and to love
them rather than being
frustrated or mad at
themselves.
- Are practicing being
more organized at home
and at work.
- Want to laugh more -
and laugh more together.
An intention is like a
beacon to guide your
life this year. It's an
infusion of light that
can permeate your path.
What intention, what
light, do you wish to
highlight your path and
guide your steps this
year?
|
Big Picture Partnering:
Create a Rock-Solid Relationship
"You get most out of it when
you read, do the exercises and go to
class. All the pieces together
enhance your relationship. Big
Picture Partnering has taken our
relationship to a whole other
level."
-Pam & Gunter, Workshop Participants
Four-Sessions
One Saturday
morning per month
Minneapolis Workshop
Match 8,
2008
Invest in your future.
Attend this workshop that will take
your relationship to another level -
giving you tools you will use for a
lifetime.
9 a.m. - noon
April 12
May 3
Reserve you
place with a phone call:
612.377.7923
Fee $480
per couple
Includes 2 books and
all materials
Due by February 29,
2008
VISA,
Mastercard accepted
|
Help your 2008 Couple Goals come
true!
Become Empowered to
Create
The Relationship You
Most Desire
No one is born knowing how to have a
relationship. In this day and age, with
so many relationship options and little
direction about what makes a good
partnership, couples often work at cross
purposes. They find that their
relationship feels good only some of the
time and they don't know why it goes
sour or feels unfulfilling. Big
Picture Partnering: 16 weeks to a
rock-solid relationship teaches
couples how to become empowered to make
skillful choices that will help them
create the kind of relationship they
desire now and in the future. It's
helpful for couples in trouble or
couples wishing to take their
relationship to the next level.
or sign up for the workshop
and receive your book for
FREE!
Praise for Big Picture
Partnering:
16 weeks to a
rock-solid relationship
"Dr Jan generously distills her
considerable expertise into a
16-week pathway to relationship
success, empowering couples with
valuable tools that will save them
hundreds in therapy bills and years
of frustration." - Patty Howell and
Ralph Jones, the authors of
World Class Marriage.
"It's difficult to find a simple,
readable book that presents such a
magnificent job of untangling the
complexities of relationships - but
Big Picture Partnering does it! A
fantastic book to guide you to the
relationship you long for." -
Patricia Love, ED.D, author of
How To Improve Your Marriage
Without Talking About It,
The Truth About Love
and Hot
Monogamy.
|
|
| |
| |
|
